zindagi

e zindagi itni shiddat se maine tujhse pyar kia,
tere har pal mein khud ko sarabor kia.
leti rahi har pal tu mera imtihan,
aur maine muskurake uska saamna kia.

my first poem for the love of my life

wish i had dove's wing,
i could fly away to that distant land.
wish i had wind's speed,
i could blow in that land.

the land where my dear friend u reside,
the land where all my dreams are playing.

With tears in eyes

Shakespeare has said that this world is like a stage and every men and women are playing thir respective roles.How true he was to compare this world to a stage and men and women with actors.They are playing their role so well that @ times it really becomes difficult to know their true self.They have camouflaged themselves.Perhaps they themselves have forgotten what they are at heart.


It really pisses me off when i see a person being very nice to me on my face and on my back speaking ill of me.Why don't people have guts to speak what they  feel.After all  they are not put on earth to please everyone.There are persons who may not be your favourite.It really tough to judge who are your well wishers and who are just passing time with you.My life is full of such experiences.Despite having all these experience,i fail to draw the fine line between my well wisher and those who are wearing mask of being good.After every bitter experience i vowed to myself that i would never repeat this mistake but next time i end up committing that mistake again.


My friends say i am a typical cancerian and therefore very submissive by nature.I trust people easily and get betrayed by them easily as well.everytime i get ready to sacrifice everything for any body.But in return what i get betrayal.It hurts most when the person for whom u are making such sarifices is not acknowledging your sacrifices.Our elders often preach us just do your bit and don't expect anything in return.but is it so easy??we are human and whenever we do anything we do expect the result of it.we love somebody in order to be loved in return........sorry to my dear elders but everytime i cant abide by the your teachings.I live in this terrestrial world then how can i embrace the ideas of celestial world. It is for mystics not for simple person like me.


Many a times i have been adviced to bring some dignity in my personality and should not let people to take me for granted.But i feel y should i change myself ??.......i should be myself its true that am being hurt this way.......@ times i feel this is what post modern period is all about just put on make up to hide yourself and give a fake smile to the world no matter if you are in your best or worst mood...just show off.Tell people what they listen from you not what you feel about them.

I am writing this article in my blog with tears in my eyes because today once again i am feeling being betrayed.i know all the sentences are fragmented but it depicts my feelings which are also fragmented.Shit
once again i have failed to unmask the person.I have just become an option for somebody,when that person is alone and lonely.......They say there is an even handed justice,if their is any then why am not getting the result of my selfless sacrifices.Why the hell am feeling miserable when i haven't done anything wrong.


This time i can say only one thing...............exhaling a deep breath "ohh God am tired,am really tired.How long i have to suffer this"

This year's Durga puja

Goddess Durga has come to shower blessings on her devotees.She ushers in the message of peace and harmony.There is a atmosphere of festivity everywhere.People decked up their houses and pandals for her welcome.It is the best of times for children as no deadlines imposed on them to return home,no limitations to pocket money.Late night pandal hopping with friends,beloved;)......gorging on junk food,mouth watering street food which makes one forgo one's diet plan.On astami maaer bhog without which this puja is incomplete,chat over home cooked food all these make this puja so special.I take pride in calling myself Indian because it is only in India that this avalanche of festivals inculcate the spirit of community celebration in us and at the same time these festivals give us reason to celebrate all year round..


This year i shopped many branded clothes for puja and was very excited to  immerse in festive spirit.I had also planned  manything for pujas but by the time puja arrived all my excitement disappeared somewhere and i had not done as per plan.My mum and sis went out pandal hopping and they asked me as well to join them but i declined because i was in no mood to do that.This year my father couldn't come down to kolkata,perhaps that also kept me down during this festive season as i was missing him terribly whenever i saw any kid walking hand in hand with his/her father.it was evoking my childhood memories. In Delhi we used to go pandal hopping in cr park and i remember when he was deputed in delhi police,despite his night shift he took me out during durga puja.......we used to have great time over there.


Every year i decide to do many thing but at the end all my plans fall flat.Dnt know wats wrong with me,i only think and think and never work upon those thoughts.this goes with the title of my blog(thinking darling).Everybody was asking me for outing but deep down i was not feeling gud so i didn't go..... i know making excuses everytime will take me away from my close ones......but am not put on earth to please everyone then why the hell should i bother about what others are thinking of me.....if am not happy then i cant pretend to be happy because am extremely poor at camouflaging my feelings....let the world enjoy ,leave me to myself.........


Hope by next year everything in my life gets well and i'll be able to enjoy the puja to the fullest....

Belated teacher's day of our department was celebrated on 13-05-2011.it happens every year,we celebrate it belated.This was going to be our last teacher's day of college life.Next year we will b bidding farewell to our college.We the students of 3rd year took the initiative and made sure that everything should take place at its best.Preparations had started a week ago.Every body was doing his/her bit to make it memorable teacher's day.


The previous night i practised my speech and song.As it was a bengali song.My younger sister helped me with that.Some of my friends had planned to wear saree that day.So my mum ironed it and set aside all accessories going with that.I wanted to look good that day.I got up early in the morning,got ready and reached college by 10.30a.m.Earlier we had been told that the programme would start  from 12.00noon but later it got delayed due to some official reasons.It started with a rabindra sangeet  by Sampurna Basu followed by farewell speech by somaritha n me.

In that speech we shared our experiences of college life with our juniors.We also incorporated our memorable moments spent with our professors.Diptorup of 1st year and Arundhati of 2nd year hosted the programme.


Sohini's performance was outstanding.She enthralled  everybody when she danced on the track of 'barso re'.


 All the girls of our year sang group song 'pagla hawar badol dine'.One after anoter hilarious performances enchanted the audience.Our professors also took part in that.AGT sir sang'bheegi bheegi' n teri diwani'.It was fabulous.SSDG sir narrated the story written by him.This time the cake was cut by nwly arrivd professor AGT sir.

It was an enjoyable day.We had a great fun.Next year we will be remembering this day and that will make us feel nostaligic.