Since last year everything has been going downhill...despite giving my best attempt,I failed to get the desired in graduation.I left no stone unturned to prepare for JNU entrance exam(my dream univ,which will remain dream forever) but didn't get through the entrance exam.There is saying "misfortunes never come alone",the same happened in my case also.to add to my miseries,my friends were there,whom I trusted the most,they were shoulder to lean on,my confidant.But at the time of adversity,some of them left m in the urches.Every door was shutting for me one after another.Every road i dared to travel,ended on a blind turn.I was feeling helpless and at times as if I was walking in a oblivion.There was not a single ray of hope.All my dreams which I had cherished for long was shattering.At times I used to feel suicidal but soon I realised if i died,people would think that I was a loser but I didn't want to be a loser,I wanted to emerge as a winner.
All day I cried,I sulked about all these but deep down I had a feeling that this adverse situation was ephemeral, it would pass and soon I would get to see the light of the day as I had read somewhere-"The darkest hour of the night is just before the dawn".However slowly and gradually that faith started faltering and I went into shell,topped socialising and dressing up as I used to do earlier.I was on the verge of giving up my faith in God because I felt if God doesn't make any distinctions between any of his creations thn why he was putting me to test every time.It was then that the Gospels from my father changed my mind and I continued offering prayer to God.Papa said that life is journey filled bitter and pleasant experiences.He said whn you had good time,you never questioned then that why all the good things of life had been bestowed on you.He further added God is above all,He gave everyone his due share.Through adverse situations He tests our faith in Him.He sees if we are ready to give up our faith in Him when we don't get anything in return.Papa preached me not to expect anything in return.Always give your best and leave everything to God.
Inspired by his words,I picked up the pieces of my broken dream and tried to give it another shape.I determined not to look back and sulk any more.I started walking a new path.I had to overcome obtacles even in that path.But the worst part is that one year has gone by and still condition is all the same.In this one year not a single thing has happened which can give me stir or bring mile to my face.It has been long since I was happy or laughed my heart out.I really want to laugh,make merry and get on with life.I know that it is only in mind as Satan has said "mind in itself and in its own place,can make hell of heaven and heaven of hell.But thee days there i nothing on my mind except chronicles of failure.Ever road is blocked.I just can't close my eyes to all these things and give a smile.
Some of you might be thinking that I always either complain or vent out in my blog.I never write anything cheering...but its just a bumpy ride for now :( :(
All day I cried,I sulked about all these but deep down I had a feeling that this adverse situation was ephemeral, it would pass and soon I would get to see the light of the day as I had read somewhere-"The darkest hour of the night is just before the dawn".However slowly and gradually that faith started faltering and I went into shell,topped socialising and dressing up as I used to do earlier.I was on the verge of giving up my faith in God because I felt if God doesn't make any distinctions between any of his creations thn why he was putting me to test every time.It was then that the Gospels from my father changed my mind and I continued offering prayer to God.Papa said that life is journey filled bitter and pleasant experiences.He said whn you had good time,you never questioned then that why all the good things of life had been bestowed on you.He further added God is above all,He gave everyone his due share.Through adverse situations He tests our faith in Him.He sees if we are ready to give up our faith in Him when we don't get anything in return.Papa preached me not to expect anything in return.Always give your best and leave everything to God.
Inspired by his words,I picked up the pieces of my broken dream and tried to give it another shape.I determined not to look back and sulk any more.I started walking a new path.I had to overcome obtacles even in that path.But the worst part is that one year has gone by and still condition is all the same.In this one year not a single thing has happened which can give me stir or bring mile to my face.It has been long since I was happy or laughed my heart out.I really want to laugh,make merry and get on with life.I know that it is only in mind as Satan has said "mind in itself and in its own place,can make hell of heaven and heaven of hell.But thee days there i nothing on my mind except chronicles of failure.Ever road is blocked.I just can't close my eyes to all these things and give a smile.
Some of you might be thinking that I always either complain or vent out in my blog.I never write anything cheering...but its just a bumpy ride for now :( :(
